Lately I have been seeing a lot of couples with the issue of stuckness.  In fact some of them feel so stuck that theyare ready to throw the towel in thinking that their stuckness must be about their partner and all that they need to do is trade the current one in for a new one and  VOILA, they will magically become unstuck. This is dangerous thinking, very dangerous thinking to say the least.

The stuckness has to do with both partners and the interactions of their projections onto each other. The projection seem to take on a life of their own and soon the couple is sure that the cause of their misery is because their partner wont do what they want them to or be who they want them to be.  They begin to blame their partner for their feelings of pain, sadness or anger.

It is impossible for someone else to “cause” our feelings …………………….Many relationship theorists have discussed this and this is hard to understand.  However, the easiest way to understand this is through this examaple.  If I do something in the park and 10 people are watching me, those 10 people will all have different feelings about it.  If my behavior caused them to feel this way, they would have similar feelings.  EAch of the 10 people will have a different reaction because each of these 10 people has had a different life coming from different families, played different roles in these families, have had different work experiences, different relationship experiences, etc. etc.

So, back to our stuckness in relationships.

The only way to get unstuck is to be willing to connect to your deepest truth within you which means connecting to your own feelings, your own history, your own thougths and your own experiences. That is, this process of connecting to your own truth helps you take responsibilty for your perceptions and your feelings and your reactions in the relationship. Then, after this self-examination, one uses advanced communication techniques  to speak their truth in Love to their partner and then be willing to listen to their partner speak back to them in the same way.

Finally, It takes courage to do this deep inner processing.  However, when you do, it is amazing how free you feel when you can take 100% responsibilty for  your life…………………that is, you are choosing to no longer be attached to someone else. You are choosing to life your life from the indside out as opposed to being co-dependantly jerked around. When 2 people choose to live like this, the relationship becomes a great harbor in the storm of life, a place of safety, JOY and deep intimacy on all levels. The relationhip becomes a place where each is safe to be in touch with their greatest dreams and the support that comes from this type of connection is like no other on earth.  This is where  “happily ever after” becomes a reality.

Please call for a session to learn these advanced communication techniques. I have a Summer special : 50% off your first session and then five more sessions for the price of four.