Out of the fog: FROZEN DELIGHT
Today as I was preparing my horse, Harmony’s winter food, I saw that the fog was so thick that I knew, based on experience from the past that it would be hard to find Harmony’s herd. A thought came to mind that maybe I should just skip today because Harmony would be “fine”. The food I take her is considered extra as she has plenty of hay just like her 24 herd-mates. Although, she loses more weight in the winter than most of her herd mates and so I only skip a day when it is absolutely necessary to minimize her weight loss.
I considered not going but then I knew the “right thing” was to take her the food.
So, I loaded her food and my 2 Golden Retrievers into my car and away we drove very carefully in the fog and on icy roads.
As I had feared, the fog was so thick; there was not a horse in sight. And, her herd is on 300 acres and the terrain is hilly and sometimes the herd can’t even be seen on a sunny Summer day because they are behind a ridge or in a valley in their large pastures. So, I figured I would just head to the middle of the pasture and call her name. Within five minutes, she appeared out of the fog and when she saw me, she whinnied. Now this was a wondrous gift on all levels. Harmony came to me when she could not see me and just followed my voice and there she was.
This got me to thinking a bit about how this little story had some key principles to live by.
1.Always do the right thing. Usually the right thing is not the easy thing to do. It would have been easier to talk myself into not going and then I would have missed this lovely experience with my horse and dogs too. I believe that if we would all strive to do the “right thing”, we could begin to create peace on earth. Often we talk about doing what is the easiest, those around us, also suggest that the “right thing” is most likely not necessary; at least in this case. I think that in the vast majority of cases, we humans have lapsed into doing “easy thing” and thus it is becomes a pattern to not even think about the “right thing”. However, striving to do the “right thing” at least 80 % of the time will make THE Difference in our world.
2.When you don’t know exactly where to go, take just one step. When you take that step, you will then be better prepared to take the next step. Truly, all we ever need do is simply take the next step. Sometimes, the next step may involve taking time to think or do more research, but if we listen to our Inner Knowing, we will always know just what the next step is.
3.Use your voice in the right and appropriate times and way. When I first got there, I had no idea where the herd was. It would have been a waste of my voice to start calling Harmony right away. I knew that when I got to the center of the pasture, I could call Harmony and she would hear me no matter where she was. And, I used a nice voice tone as well. Terry Real, internationally famous relationship theorist and clinician tells us that in all relationships, “TONE TRUMPS FORM”. That is, how you say something is typically more important than the content. Thus, if I wanted Harmony to come to me, I needed to let her know I was going to be a happy person on the other end of her lead rope.
4.Celebrate the victories!!This step is just about pausing and appreciating these sweet little moments. It is truly the little things in life that make all the difference.
When Harmony whinnied at me, I whinnied back! Literally! I was so happy that she came to me that I stood there and petted her for a long while before we made our way back through the fog and over the rough, snowy and hilly terrain.
5.Accept coaching or influence from those around you. This last point has to do with being willing to accept influence from those around us. John Gottman, another internationally famous relationship theorist and clinician suggests that to the degree that we will accept influence from others and therefore be open to compromise and negotiation, to that degree, we will have harmonious relationships.
As the four of us, Harmony, me and my wonderful pups were making our way back to the car, the dogs took off in the “wrong direction”. They were going away from the car, so I thought. So, I called them back to me and being the well trained dogs that they are, they came right back. Harmony also tried to steering me in the “wrong direction”, the same “wrong direction”, the dogs had tried to lead me in. Harmony, also being the well trained horse that she is, dutifully followed me. So we are all heading in the “right direction”, and low and behold, guess who had been right about the direction? : Jessie, Sunny and Harmony. The human mother was wrong. If I had taken cues from my three 4-legged “children”, we would have made it to the car 10 minutes sooner.