As a psychotherapist and a communication expert, I have many people coming in to my office who are at odds with someone in their life. The person they are at odds with may be their boss, a parent, a partner, a sibling, or in any of the countless roles we human beings can fill. Time and time again, I listen and I understand their “side” of the story. And time and time again, I give them the way that will immediately ease at least most of the tension they are feeling about being at odds with this person. And, time and time again, when I share with them the method of how they can reduce the tension and actually begin to solve the problem, I would say at least 70% of the people leave my office saying the solution I am offering will not work.

So, what is this solution?  The solution is to connect with one’s own truth which means connect with ones own thoughts, feelings, perceptions, desires and upsets and then speak from the “I” without attack to the one they are at odds with. They are then coached by me to then ask for what they want from the person.

The person in my office to whom I am offering this solution says things like,  “well they would never listen”, ” or it would do no good”, or, “this would make them even more mad”, etc, etc, etc.

I then tell them that the main reason they speak this way  is for their own benefit first!  This is  very important. When we learn to find our own voice and then speak from the “I”, using advanced communication techniques like Non-violent Communication( also known as Compassionate Communication), or the Feedback wheel, they are maximizing the likelihood that the other will hear. But again, by speaking their truth, they become willing to be vulnerable by talking about their feelings, thoughts and perceptions and then they ask for what they would like.

When someone does speak their truth in this fashion, they are releasing the pent up emotions and energy that surround not talking.  They are doing the highest and best action possible by being willing to share their truth with another. AND, I have seen and experienced miracles happen when a person is willing to speak like this directly to the one they are at odds with rather than bottling up the energy or even worse, they go and talk negatively about the person they are upset with and never give this person the opportunity to know number one how their behavior affected someone and number two, be given an option to make things right in the request.

I would love to coach you in this technique; It will change your life. It has mine and it has changed the lives of all my clients who have committed to using it on  a daily basis. And, finally, I believe this is the only way our world can heal.  THIS IS WHY YOU MUST SPEAK~~~