We all have a “magic wand”
Last month, I suggested that we all have some sort of PTS(d), but, we do not have to endure the effects of this lingering traumatic stress. We live in the land of all possibility: THINK NO LIMITS! !
We all have a Magic Wand.
I like to call this “Magic Wand”, our “Inner knowing”.
Here is what I write about the Inner Knowing in my book, ALL CHILDREN ARE GIFTED.
“We will solve the problems of the world only when we become aware of our innate goodness, connect with this inner wisdom that is part and parcel of this goodness, and then express that goodness in our lives every day. If you believe in the inherent goodness of all people and you are willing to focus on and magnify that goodness, you can change the world. When are willing to understand the Truth of your goodness, you are not only doing something wonderful for yourself and your loved ones, but you are also helping to heal the world.
These two spiritual truths—humanity and all of creation are innately good; and the resources of this goodness are directly available to each person—are the guiding principles in my book. I’ve chosen to call this innate wisdom and goodness that is always available the “inner knowing.”
For some reason, I came into this life with a deep and abiding connection to my “Inner Knowing”. Though I mentioned a bit about the stress I experienced as a child in my July Newsletter, the way that I got through the stress was always knowing what my next step was. It was uncanny how this inner knowing always guided me. Somehow, even when somewhat unconscious of “why” I was doing what I was doing, I always knew what to do. The first major demonstration of this was when I graduated from High School. My Mother wanted me to go to Butler University in Indianapolis. She wanted me to live at home and she would drive me to college every day because I did not have a car. As someone who had rarely said “no” to my mother, I just followed along and did what she “wanted me to do”. The only problem was that this was not “what I wanted to do”. After about 4 weeks, I was falling into a deep depression, I could not study even though I had been an A- student, graduating with honors and in the top 10% of my High School class of over 600. At that time, I was invited to Indiana University to a party with one of my best friends from High School. I took the night off from my waitressing job and went to I.U. It was so wonderful; I had so much fun with my friend and she said to me: “Do you want to come to I.U. next Semester and be my room-mate?”. Now normally, in my past, I would have said “Uh, well I can’t because it would make my mother mad”. But I knew in that instant that, that was exactly what I was going to do. Period. I knew that. I did not know how I knew that but I did. Loooong- story short, I told my Mom that I was going to pay her back for the tuition she had paid to Butler U. and I was going to save my money from my waitressing job and pay the way for me to attend I.U.
And, I did just that. Though, she was not happy about it, there was nothing she could do to stop me. It was the first time I had ever acted on my behalf. I remember now how I felt when I walked on the beautiful I.U. campus, in my earth shoes, that were so popular at the time. It was the first time I ever experienced a sense of inner “Freedom” because of steps I had taken on my own behalf for my own well-being. That was only the beginning. By listening to and following my “inner knowing”, I have experienced so many dreams being fulfilled or coming true that sometimes I can hardly believe it. Here are some of the dreams that came true by listening to my Inner Knowing and then taking action:
* putting myself through 8 years of college by working full time as a waitress/server/bartender or also working in a residential treatment center.
*Moving back to Colorado from Indiana and finding a Graduate program that began in two months and I still got in. (this was another major experience of following my Inner Knowing. The only program I could find was a Masters Degree in Child Psych from the University of CO-Denver. The 2 challenges: I wanted to get my Psy-D from Denver U. and I did not like kids, or so I thought, but my Inner knowing was strong and I went with it and this degree was a major turning point in my life)
*Becoming a Unity Minister at the age of 30
*Making my dream come true of “having Christopher” (another major experience of following my Inner Knowing)
*Doing major healing via Psychodrama and getting trained in experiential therapy
*Believing in my dream that my “right horse was coming to me”.
*Meeting a horse Woman in WA who helped me become a horse woman too.
*Getting my book published
*My Dog always being with me in every part of my journey.
*Receiving the Gifts that my Parents gave me: Health Practices from my Dad, A grand Sense of love, laughter and relationship from my Mother(this takes deep work to do this and it is worth it!)
*An awareness that no dream is beyond our reach
And so now, the next part of this article is going to guide you to connect with your longings and dreams via your Inner Knowing.
So, part two of this article is called:
Longings, Dreams, and This now moment
Recently one of the bright light teens that I have the pleasure of working with said this:
“I need to stay aware or I am risk of slipping into something I can’t get out of”.
Though, this one teen often has amazing bits of wisdom that just fly out of her mouth, this one stayed with me.
Over the last 30 years of being a therapist, I often saw women who wound up in situations that they always feared but never thought would come to fruition. In reality, they did not “stay aware and they did wind up slipping in and staying in something that they thought they could not get out of”.
Here are some examples with all identifying factors changed: husband leaves after she has supported his career for 30 years; mom dies of Alzheimer’s disease and she fears that she is now getting this diagnosis;
cat dies and she is painfully alone because her 4-legged was her only “child”, and she feared when the cat died, she would be alone; the only living member of her “family of origin” dies and she wonders if she will die all alone.
What each of these women (again examples changed) had in common is this: Each of these women also had a dream that she believed was very important to fulfill. Each person, had deep longings about this dream, and each believed that someday, they would have time to act on this dream, yet they always made other things in their life more important than the fulfillment of this dream. They chose to not be aware of what was really going on within themselves.
And had each of these people taken steps to listen, to listen deeply to this “now moment”, they would have heard two things. One, I believe they would have heard deep within that their dream was not something to put on the back burner but to take tiny actions now. *** And second, I believe that they would have realized that the essence of their fear was with them right then and the time was “NOW”, to take action to make sure this fear did not manifest. We are often surprised when some tragic event happens, and in most cases, the essence of that tragic surprise had been with us a long time. And the time to act on it was a long time ago, when we first heard our fears about it but chose to not listen. ***
This blog is about listening, listening to oneself, listening to one’s “Inner Knowing”.
Also, please know it is never too late to listen to your deepest dreams and longings and it is never too late to rise above any fears that have manifested. The very presence of the Divine is within you and this presence is greater than any challenge that has manifested in your life. Further, because the very presence of the Divine is within you, you have the ability to allow your dream to come true.
*** And all that you need do right now regarding any challenge that you are facing OR and most importantly, regarding your dream, all that you need do is take your next step. We often think, oh that is so big (either the fear or the dream), that there is nothing I can do. The time is “NOW”, and if you are reading, this, you have enough clarity of mind to take your next step. And, sometimes, IF, we take the next step in the fulfillment of our dream, this courageous step has the ability to begin transforming the challenge. For, when we act courageously, we are acting out of love, and love has the ability to transform everything unlike itself.
So, if you are willing, here is how to begin listening to yourself.
There are four ways to gain understanding about ourselves; four ways of knowing.
These 4 ways of gaining understanding are:
*Thinking (has to do with our beliefs and thoughts and intellect)
*Intuiting (has to do with our gut level knowing or a deep Inner knowing that I describe in my book: All Children are Gifted)
*Sensing (bodily knowing)
*Feeling (our emotions & feelings)
These are called the 4 functions of consciousness as described by the famous Swiss Psychiatrist, Carl Jung. The healthiest person will have a good balance between all 4 functions. The challenge today is that the mighty intellect dominates the way we get information and getting information from feelings, intuition and our body is seen as somehow inferior compared to getting information from the mighty intellect. If I were an artist, I would paint the following picture: I would draw a HUGE computer on top of (but disconnected from) a body. The computer would signify the way most people access their own Inner knowing.
For some reason, in this lifetime, I have always found myself standing up for feelings. I did this in my High School Psychology class, my Graduate classes in Psychology and then in Unity ministerial school.
As I said, our society teaches us to allow our thoughts to dictate what we believe about ourselves, about others, about the Divine. Our society nearly insists that mighty intellect is the only valid way to know. So, what happens is that we let the mind highjack our experience of this now moment. We let our mind tell us that our fears, feelings, intuitions and bodily sensing are all inferior. This is how so many of the women in my practice let their biggest fears come true and how they completely ignored their own dream fulfillment.
So, I want to suggest that you take three steps to take within the next 24 hours.
- Be willing to listen to your feelings, intuition and bodily knowing. I said “be willing”. If you are willing, get a journal to journal what you hear your feelings, intuition and body telling you.
- Answer this question: “What would you do if nothing were standing in your way?”
- Talk with a safe friend who believes in you about what you have discovered by answering the above two questions.
Finally, be willing to listen to your longings. Your deepest longings are so important, they can guide you to what your next step is. Women, especially have learned to ignore their longings. And, when women stop ignoring their longings, and listen to them deeply, our world will change. Our longings most likely come from our dreams and maybe they are the same but I don’t think they are exactly the same.
In closing, I want to remind you of two very important things.
- You do have the very presence of the Divine within you and because of this, you can allow your dreams to manifest and you can get out of the challenging situation you are in
- Your awareness is the key, as my young teen suggested to me.
Well we all have PTS(d) but there is something even better that can help us move past this and I would talk about Our inner knowing, that reflects our dreams and longings. I would word it all better but would you tell me what yo
Yes, we all have gone through traumatic stress. And if you are reading this and you believe you have not experienced traumatic stress, I invite you to come to my office and let me know how your life is.
The reason I put (D) in parentheses is that though, we have all gone through traumatic stress (see definition below), we don’t all have the full-blown disorder.
Here is the definition of PTSD:
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a serious condition that results from surviving a life-threatening or extremely frightening event. Often those who suffer from PTSD have no idea that they have developed the condition. They try to re-immerse themselves back into life but seem to fail consistently.