BABIES IN THE NEWS: BORN TO RULE, BE COOL OR ??

This week there have been stories about three babies in the news. The first baby is the one that will soon be born to the Royals, William and Kate. Princess Kate’s mother said this baby will be born under the astrological sign of Leo and will be born to rule!. When the baby is born, there will be a quick call to the Queen and then a sign will be placed outside the hospital telling the world what the sex of this most important baby is. Then the sign will be paraded all the way to the Palace so all of the “Royal Watchers” will know the sex.

The next baby in the news is a young toddler who is the legal son of Danielle Schreiber and Jason Patric. The problem here is that Jason Patric donated his sperm so Danielle could get pregnant and now the 2 adults are in a legal battle over whether Jason should have any rights as a parent. The problem is that Jason wants to be a Dad to young Gus but Danielle is upset that Jason does not want to be her partner so she is doing all that she can to keep Jason from his son. She is drawing upon some earlier conversations in which Jason said he was not ready to be a Dad; this despite the fact that little Gus does in fact call Jason “Da Da”.

It seems that Danielle has some legal rights here that are being made more important than the rights of little Gus to have 2 parents that love him. How important are the rights of Children?

The third baby in the news is a young baby under the age of 2 known as Duke. He is the son of a couple that is well known to Television audiences. The parent’s names are Bill and Giuliana. This baby was conceived while the mother also had the diagnosis of breast cancer and the mom and baby were in the news a lot about how discovering she was pregnant also brought the breast cancer illness to light.

This baby is very much wanted by his parents; however, they have decided to create a television show about them and their baby so the world can get to know little Gus. There was a story in the news about Bill actually towing his baby behind his boat ( he said he made sure he was safe) because he does not want to raise a wimp. He thinks that children are coddled and cared for too much in this day and age and he wants his baby to experience all of life at an early age. Now, I could comment on each story individually but you are invited to google many stories on each baby should you desire.

Here is my take on these stories. First, what I take from the Royal Baby’s story is this: All babies deserve to have this much fanfare about their birth. All babies are born to rule: rule themselves and if parenting is done correctly, a baby will grow into an adult who is connected to his or her own truth, knows her needs are important and knows how to meet them. Now certainly I am not suggesting that all babies will have it’s sex paraded around town but I am suggesting that the deep love that would prompt such a display of the birth should be expressed. A baby begins to know it has value and worth by the way the mother and father are able to be fully PRESENT to the baby. A baby knows it’s worth when the parents make their baby’s needs important. As parents do this one thing well, even a new born begins to understand on some level that he or she is important because when he or she is uncomfortable (due to hunger, pain, loneliness, etc) the parent swoops in and meets their needs as well as possible.

The second story on Gus, the son of Jason and Danielle reflects the dilemma that so many parents have these days, and again, it about the needs of the baby vs the needs of the parent. Danielle has a need to keep Gus away from Jason because he was not sure about being a parent before Gus was born. First of all, is there any parent that is truly 100% ready to be a parent? Second, the fact that Jason wants to be a father to this child is a true blessing for this baby. I would suggest that what we can understand from this story is this: Parents who have issues that could get in the way of a child’s needs being met must be willing to deal with these issues. The fact that Danielle wants to keep Jason from Gus could cause irreparable harm to this child. I sense that Danielle is feeling rejected by Jason. I would suggest that she get some counseling around this so that her son has the opportunity to be fully loved by the child’s dad. We parents must be willing to make the sacrifices we can so that our children grow up to be healthy and well adjusted on all levels. The benefit of having 2 parents that love a child cannot be minimized.

The last story got my attention because of what Bill, the dad said about justifying “HIS NEED” to place his baby in terrifying experiences. This will not keep little Duke from being a so-called Wimp. This type of scenario could create conditions that will lead to Duke developing an anxiety disorder. A baby would not enjoy being towed behind a boat. Perhaps, this child may not have been harmed by this because the child clearly would not know what is happening. However, if the father would continue to place the baby in situations that would create fear in a child and then tell the child to not have fear because “only wimps are scared”, will definitely create some type of fear issues in the child. In this day and age, we need to be willing to be in touch with our fear because there are dangerous things in the world.

If we as parents can teach our children to be mindful of the fear; then we can also teach our child what to do when scared. Typically, if a child or adult is willing to notice their fear and still remain calm, they can access a deeper wisdom that can tell them what to do in the face of danger or perceived danger. Teaching a child to ignore their fear is a great way to create a full blown anxiety disorder. In sum, my blog today is to suggest that as we choose to parent our children in such a way that we are fully present to the individual needs of our children, we will be parenting our children to grow up to be healthy adults that are aware of their needs, how to meet them and how they can take action to meet these needs.