Please look at the previous three posts to understand this one

Let us  Recall So what do we do about this in childhood?

We adapt.  Human’s have a deep need to survive and so we do what is necessary to adapt so that we can get some needs met and also we adapt to survive and keep ourselves intact.  The part of us that adapted is called the Adapted or Adaptive Child. The adapted child has a deep need to continue doing what it did in childhood to survive. Get this: I said survive. The adaptation is about survival or at least this part of thinks we will die if you don’t continue these adaptation.  This is why it is so hard to change parts of our behavior

However,  best part of the adaptation is that no matter what happened to us, our true and real self has not been harmed. It has been protected by our adapted child.

So, the adapted child part of us is young. It does not need to be kicked out. It needs us to lovingly take it by the hand and tell it” You don’t need to be in charge anymore, I am going to be the functional adult and get support and take care of you.

When we could not be our true self, we developed this adapted self.

It is important to realized   we have learned we cant be our true self so the adapted part of us does all it can to meet some needs.

The adapted child believes that it is dangerous to re-connect to our true and authentic self so this part gives us a lot of anxiety when we start re-connecting.  This part of us believes that we will be harmed again the way we were way back when if we choose to go within and connect to our Goodness.

Let us recall Marianne Williamson’s quote about being more afraid to connect to our light rather than our shadow side. The  Adapted Child is about our shadow side. The light in us is expressed through our true and authentic self.

I invite you to  do a time line of when you  have lived from your true self and when you  have lived from your adapted self

The adapted child is also influenced by our family of origin. The culture, customs and just the way we lived .  There are of course positive things that the adapted child expresses.

So as we heal, we realize that this part of us holds a lot of energy, a lot of survival skills and a huge amount of awareness about what our next steps are.

The adapted child is also our inner critic.  Again, this part of us protects us from what it believes caused the pain, trauma and abuse in some cases in our young lives.

Your innocence,y our vulnerability and your souls gifts are part of your true self however you may be quite dis-connected this part of you because the Adapted child is afraid to connect to this true part of you.

So, the Adapted child/inner critic does all that it can to keep us from ever being vulnerable and open again.

Exercise:  strike a pose that reflects………..your adapted self   What does this part of you look like.    Mine is shame filled and is over-functioniong. However, I have learned to embrace this part of me in a loving and protective circle. I can be in touch with this part and care for it but no longer does it get to navigate the course of my life..

There is a  part of you that can accept this young part of and this is your  functional adult

The functional adult is the part of you that is reading this blog. This is the part of you that can learn to love yourself completely.

Tomorrow, I will give you the way to truly learn to love yourself .

Your functional adult is a healthy parent within you. It loves all of you.

 EXERCISE:

***do graph/time line on when you have been connected to your true self and when your adapted child was in charge.