If you are one of the lucky ones, you felt unconditionally loved by your mother or your father. Or, perhaps you felt even conditionally loved by a grandparent, neighbor or even, SURPRISE, SURPRISE,  dog or a horse.

My question to you is how did you know someone loved you?  Take a reflective pause, even for 30 to 60 seconds and think right now about how you knew or felt they loved you?

PAUSE………………

PAWS………………..

REST…………….

RELAX…………

Whether you took a moment to think about my question, I bet the answer was in someway the one whom you felt loved by was meeting a need of yours. The needs that we have are numerous and many but our needs often fit into one of the following categories:

1. Biological and Physiological needs – air, food, drink, shelter, warmth, sex, sleep, etc.

2. Safety needs – protection from elements, security, order, law, stability, etc.

3. Love and belongingness needs – friendship, intimacy, affection and love, – from work group, family, friends, romantic relationships.

4. Esteem needs – self-esteem, achievement, mastery, independence, status, dominance, prestige, managerial responsibility, etc.

5. Cognitive needs – knowledge, meaning, etc.

6. Aesthetic needs – appreciation and search for beauty, balance, form, etc.

7. Self-Actualization needs – realizing personal potential, self-fulfillment, seeking personal growth and peak experiences.

8. Transcendence needs – helping others to achieve self actualization.

 

These  8 categories represent an expanded version of Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.

Take a moment to look at these categories and see what category or categories contained the needs you have identified that were fulfilled by the one who loved you?

I teach my clientele that even if they do not feel that they were loved as a child, they can learn to love themselves by following a 3 step forumula:

1. Identify your own needs

2.Know how to meet these needs

3. Take action to meet the need.

I do workshops called  “learning to love yourself”, and it is based on this premise.

The  topic of today’s blog is about taking this concept of learning to love yourself and applying it to loving your partner or those in your life whom you want to love.

Please study this blog and I will expand on this idea tomorrow on 5-15-15.