Thumper’s Mother, from the Disney movie, Bambi is internationally known for saying:   IF YOU CANT’ SAY ANYTHING NICE, DONT SAY ANYTHING AT ALL.

 Though this precious mommy rabbit really was trying to help her son and his friend Bambi, this sentiment alone, has caused problems in every relationship, has led to breakdowns in communication at an international level and has caused world wars.

The truth is, if we don’t learn to communicate and start saying the hard stuff, albeit in a relational way, nothing( and I do mean nothing) will get better. Not speaking our truth and saying how we feel and what we pereive is often the beginning of the breakdown in  a relationship.

I have had countless clients come into my office and complain about some injustice that someone has done to them and after  I  listen and empathize and they feel heard, I then ask them if they are willing  to speak to the offender about the injustice. In nearly 80% of the cases, the “offendee” is unwilling to speak to the “offender”.  And, often the “offender” does not even know what he or she did that caused so much emotional pain.

Scott Peck, author of  A WORLD WAITING TO BE BORN,  talked about creating a new civility in our world.  Basically, this new civility was becoming willing to speak our truth, our perceptions, our feelings, our pain and our gratitude even if the other did not change one iota. The reason we speak is to offer clarity to those around us about who we are and where we stand on any issue. And, we speak with a willingness to also listen.

Just this act of civil communication can indeed change our world and it begins with YOU.

I have two advanced communication techniques that I teach people that can produce miracles.

In my next blog, I will discuss these briefly.