Recently, I was told by someone that the reason they have not contacted me or responded to my emails   is  because they are not in “relationship” with me since I  don’t attend the luncheons anymore that a  larger group that we are  a part  hosts once a month. This person and I always had a very nice connection( at least I thought and felt!) but when I was forced out of  a position because my contract was not renewed( read  “fired”), and I chose to focus on my private practice, I  could not attend the luncheons.

I received the message that said person was not in relationship with me right before I was beginning a hike  on Kenosha Pass in Colorado. The Aspens were nearing their peak as far as showing the world their enchanting colors.

There is something really wonderful about Aspens and this wonderful fact is the following:

“Rarely is their just one Aspen tree. By their nature, Aspens are not a solitary tree. Their roots spread below the earth’s surface and spring to life others to form a group. Aspens grow as a community; they are interconnected by their roots and share nutrients and resources to support each other. – See more at: https://www.thindifference.com/2010/05/aspen-trees-set-a-community-example”

I knew this about Aspens and  I had just been told that I was no longer in a relationship with this friend as I am walking among the aspens.

The sentiment expressed in my title came to me as I hiked with my husband and my golden canine prince.

So I began looking at the trees and the creek and the little birds and the flowers and the weeds and the dead trees that had fallen over  and other hikers and I silently  asked each one of these creatures if I was in relationship with them. I honestly could not say that I was not in relationship with any of these specimens of nature.

My favorite definition of God came to mind as well:

God is everyone of us together: the rocks, the seas, the flowers and the seas, and all creatures, whether of fur, fin, feather or skin

and I knew that for me, I am still in relationship with my friend and I knew in that moment that it does not matter if he does not see me as worthy of his attention since we are “not in relationship”, I am able to be me and follow my highest ideals no matter what he or anyone thinks.

I am able to behold him and all of life as expressions of the Divine( by whatever name we use to call the Divine) and because of this we are one.

Pope Francis in his address to Congress on September 24th said this about neighbors and relationships when he was speaking about immigration:

…………..”When the stranger in our midst appeals to us, we must not repeat the sins and errors of the past. We must resolve now to live as nobly and as justly as possible, as we educate new generations not to turn their back on our ‘neighbors’ and everything around us. Building a nation calls us to recognize that we must constantly relate to others, rejecting a mindset of hostility in order to adopt one of reciprocal solidarity, in a constant effort to do our best.”

For me, and what I learned from really trying to understand what my friend told me, is that we ARE in relationship with everyone and everything  on Earth no matter what our minds may tell us.  And, in order for our planet and all of her creatures  to move forward in health, we must be willing to follow the  ‘greatest commandment”  as spoken by Jesus and that is to love our neighbor as ourselves. And because every creature is our neighbor, because we are ONE, then to treat someone as not worthy of our attention is to simply be living from the “reptilian” part of our brain which must put people in differing groups saying this group is in “my tribe and I will protect it” and “that group is not in my tribe and therefore it is an enemy which I will not protect”.

I thank my friend for telling me that he is not in a relationship with me any longer and therefore he does not need to repond to my little bids for connection, because this has clarified  for me what I choose to do.

I have been following this idea for many years now and it has brought the title of  “relationship  and communication expert” to me. I have learned that even when I don’t agree with what someone has done or said, I still need to communicate with them. I communicate with them because we are part and parcel of one another. As Jesus said: ” in as much as you have done this to the least of these my brethren, you have done it unto me”.  And, we know that this means we have also done it to ourselves.

I ask all of us together today, to celebrate our oneness and to be grateful that we humans have the ability to magnify this oneness or to tear it apart.  If we choose to magnify it, we do it by being ourselves and by being ourselves, the true authentic self we have come here to be, we can live together as the Aspens do, as the dead trees do, as the dolphins do and heal our planet one loving action at a time.