• Please read the blogs from the previous 2 days about discovering your true self.
• Now,   think of  a symbol of your True self and write it down in your journal.
• Now is the time to think about why you have not been able to live your life from the awareness of your authentic self.  AND, is this the case for most people?

John Bradshaw, author, lecturer and developer of the Inner Child ideas says this:  80 to 95% of all families are dysfunctional and the other 5 to 15% are lieing

.So we are all in the same boat.  Things happened in our childhood that made us think we were less than or that something was wrong with us. This creates a deep sense of shame in a person. Today’s blog is not about what happened to you but rather to understand that some negative experiences happened ( negative ranging from minor neglect to abuse to severe abuse to severe neglect to infrequent trauma to constant trauma), and you were led to believe that you are less than whole.  These negative beliefs cause us to separate from our authentic self.

One of the easiest ways to look at your own woundedness is how you learned to  deal with feeling

This next section is about :  ~How my family of origin dealt with feelings

Anger is about boundaries being invaded. That is when we have anger it is because our boundaries were invaded on one or more levels: physical, emotional, spiritual, intellectual, social.

Sadness is always about loss

Joy is experienced when we are able to feel safe first and then there is a sense of oneness with others or with nature.

Guilt is about something we did that we believe or were told we should not have done.

Shame is first a feeling of being “seen”……..it becomes toxic or painful when our boundaries are violated when we are vulnerable and “seen.

• Fear is about being or feeling threatened

Write down in your journal which feeling was really forbidden?

Which feeling was pushed farthest away from awareness.

Which feeling was most forbidden or least permitted expression

• And in all most all cases of any type of abuse, the parents is simply projecting the dis-owned parts of themselves onto their children
• Often people who have a huge amount of toxic shame took on the shame of their parents
• When parents harm their children, they are acting shamelessly without any boundaries and a child by nature does not have boundaries……children learn boundaries by what they see, by how they are treated and by what they are allowed to do
• *Trauma happens
• So, things that our parents cant help us deal with are stuffed in to the shadow,.
• For example, if a child is continually made fun of by the siblings, that child will come to believe that there is something wrong with her. She may adapt by becoming painfully shy in school but then erupt in high school and bring a weapon to school to harm the bullies. This is a true story.
• Most parents, guardians, care-takers do the best that they can with the awareness that they have. I do believe that in most cases, each generation also gets more conscious. So, there are a lot of unconscious wounds and erroneous beliefs about who we are that are in the shadow that are there because our parents did not know how to deal with these issues. And, most woundedness begins with loss and the resulting mass of human emotions that result from loss that many do not know how to deal with so it is stuffed into the shadow of our being. Again, the shadow is filled with dis-owned parts of our self and painful things that we were not able to deal with:
• Not being able to have your own truth in the smallest of things
• Not being able to have your feelings
• The community is dysfunctional
• The world is unsafe………especially now.
• Please take some time to think about this blog and we will continue this journey to your true self on Monday the 27th of April.