What we learned from the DNC Convention

about how to deal with conflict and anger.

I have been called a “Communication and Relationship Expert”. I love this title and I really can say that I see the truth in this. I have been seeking out how to create healthy relationships my whole life. I have created an alternative ministry that teaches how to have healthy relationships and one of the four steps is healthy communication. We humans tend to not know how to communicate if there is any anger, conflict or disagreement. Humans do one of two things when there is disagreement with another human:

• They go in to grandiosity, arrogance or a “1-up” position and use the anger that NATURALLY ** comes up when humans are in disagreement and they let the other know they are right and the other is wrong. They express their anger incorrectly and this leads to more disconnection, disharmony and pain.

• The other thing humans do is go into shame or a “1-down position”, and their anger that NATURALLY** comes up, gets channeled in to judgment about the other. They don’t express their anger directly, they do it in a dishonest and covert way and this also leads to more disconnection, disharmony and pain.**I say anger comes up naturally because the reptilian level of our brain is wired to be on the alert for potential harm. When this part of our brain perceives disagreement, this reptile brain is on high alert to detect if the system is unsafe. When there is disagreement, one perceives that their boundaries may have been crossed and our bodies naturally create a sense of anger to enable us to pay attention to be safe. Anger is about boundaries being crossed. The reptilian level of or brain may perceive the only way to keep safe is to “look bigger” than our opponent so the other will retreat and not do any more boundary crossing. Humans often do this by getting loud and yelling at their “opponent” and this can escalate into physical or emotional harm.   The wizard brain enables us to be mindful or to pay attention to what is going on in our whole system and enables us to notice anger, and at the same time enables us to express this anger in a way that a higher functioning creature “has the ability to do”. I say “has the ability to do” because the vast majority of humans do not utilize this ability. Instead they allow the lizard brain to become the anger and to express it in an offensive way 
• .My next blog will look at anger in a really in-depth way but for the purpose of this blog, I simply list the things that the DNC did when conflict came up and how most of it was resolved by using their “Wizard Brain”, instead of the “lizard brain”, in response to the protests by the Bernie Sanders supporters.The neocortex is what I call the “Wizard Brain”.
  1. There is another way however. Not only do we have this reptilian brain, or “lizard brain”, but we have a “Wizard brain”. This part of our brain is called the neocortex and Medicine.net defines this part of our brain in the following way:
  2.  Neocortex: The newer portion of the cerebral cortex that serves as the center of higher mental functions for humans. The neocortex contains some 100 billion cells, each with 1,000 to 10,000 synapses (connections), and has roughly 100 million meters of wiring, all packed into a structure the size and thickness of a formal dinner napkin. The cells in the neocortex are arranged in six layers, within which different regions permit vision, hearing, touch, and the sense of balance, movement, emotional responses and every other feat of cognition.

Here are the 4 steps the DNC used to deal with and heal from the natural anger that was brought to the DNC Convention.

LET THEIR VOICES BE HEARD  This phrase was used a lot along with the phrase; “let them get it off their chest”. This step expresses how very important it is for someone who feels that they have been wronged or treated unfairly to be able to express their feelings and thoughts. This is absolutely essential

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT  This is the next essential step that must take place after the injured party expresses. The protestors were acknowledged in many ways and in many speeches. Further, Bernie Sanders was able to speak on the first night of the convention and was able to thank his supporters and let them know that the “political revolution” will continue.

INVITATION TO NEGOTIATE AND COMPROMISE  Because Bernie Sanders has been so gracious and willing to: Look, See, and Work for the greater goal of making sure a Democrat is elected, many of his most important goals were included in the Democratic Platform. Further, most of his supporters also have become willing to Look, See and Work together with the supporters of the Hillary Clinton camp as well so there will be a welcoming environment that the Democratic Party provides to enable the “political revolution” to continue.

Watch out for Expectations: Create trust first. Vice President, Joe Biden, said in a post convention interview that he did not expect to become such good friends with President Obama. Two things that enabled them to work together so well, according to Biden were initially that they were willing to respect their roles and from this respect, they became willing to trust one another.

1. These steps enable those who are willing to solve all problems and create Global Harmony