~A REQUEST~

Two requests were made of me. My first thought to each request was that I did not have time to fulfill either of these. After all, I have been so very busy and to fulfill either of the requests would mean that I would have to change my plans.  “My Plans” are the key words here.

We live in a world in which if we don’t work together.  Our planet, our world, our communities will not last as we know them.

We live in a world where creatures of fur, fin, and feather know we must work together.  The idea of working together and creating communities that support one another is wired into our brains. We are supposed to create harmony together. Most 4 legged creatures and those of fur and fin still know this. Somehow, humans have forgotten this. We have created our own personal agendas, our own plans and God forbid we ever alter our own agendas or plans to accommodate someone else’s needs.

So, it was in this context, that I first thought that I could not possibly find the time to fulfill either of the 2 requests that were made of me.

However, I have been on a major path of growth over the last 2 years.  The truth is, I have always been on a path of growth in this lifetime. It is WHO I am and this desire for growth, understanding and truth has served me well. But, the last 2 years have been especially difficult and challenging and they have brought new good to me in ways that I could not have imagined had I chosen to just allow the challenges to knock me down and not be willing to get up.

So, it was from this new consciousness that I stopped my “NO”-thinking” about the requests. I  then put on my “ WILLINGNESS-ATTITUDE”,  to look at the requests, and  I found ways that I could fulfill the requests.

John Gottman, internationally famous relationship theorist tells us that when someone asks for something, they are actually making a “bid for attention”. These “bids for attention” are very important. First, when someone typically makes a request, they must become vulnerable.  We become vulnerable when making a request because we are setting ourselves up for the possibility of the other saying “no”. It has been said that the hardest thing for a human to do is to ask for help. Thus making a request is one way of asking for help and when we ask for help, we often have a need that we would like to have fulfilled.

Needs are very important! The way our parents showed they loved us was by knowing what our needs are and meeting them.

So, back to the requests, when someone makes a request, they are, in a sense, showing their “under-belly” and asking to be shown they are important. ( now, of course, this is not the case all of the time, but the point of this blog is to talk about the times when the requests are authentic and are reflecting an authentic need that if fulfilled will show the other they are important).

When I put on my “Willingness- attitude”, I saw ways that I could offer to fulfill the request that would in fact work with my schedule, my plans and I could do this without much pain.

I woke up the next day receiving “thank-yous” from the people who made the requests. I was blessed by their comments, but more than this, I was blessed by my willingness to say “YES”, in my own way.

So, as we prepare for a wonderful holiday of sharing and connecting and hugging and holding, I invite all of us to find ways of saying “YES”, as often as we can.

The action will, of course, bless the other who made the request but more than this, the action of saying YES is a way of saying  Yes to the world, and saying YES to the world is a way of restoring our world and all of her creatures to Harmony, peace, JOY and goodness. And, is this not the true meaning of Christmas? One of Jesus’ main messages was of willingness. ARE YOU WILLING?